How to detect a faulty weight loss plan:
- You have to buy a product. A healthy lifestyle does not require miracle equipment, magic pills, or pre-made calorie-specific food.
- Somebody gets paid to endorse the plan. I’m super happy that [insert celebrity] shed 30 pounds on the ragweed and chipmunk testicle diet, but I trust medical professionals more than actors/singers/calligraphers who receive a cool million to shuffle their hips in front of a camera.
- It is not permanent. You cannot expect results that last a lifetime after a month of work. I really wish employers would give me a paycheque every week for the rest of my life after one month, but they look at me like I’m crazy whenever I suggest it. If the plan deprives you of essential nutrients or pushes your physical limits beyond your current capacity, then you will go back to old habits.
- The plan encourages you to lose weight for the wrong reasons. This is not about the teenagers heckling you when you walk by or your boyfriend/girlfriend/blow-up doll. Assholes will still be full of shit after you lose your weight. Your partner is important if he/she legitimately cares about your wellbeing, and your kids are damn important, too. However, you can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself.
- The plan does not take your personal health issues into account. Certain conditions (yes, I said the word – sue me) can give you a smaller window between « too few » and « too many » calories. Medications might make you hungry, and mental illnesses can make your work that much harder. The magazines cater to the majority, however, and will not function as diagnostics. This does not necessarily mean that you can’t lose weight. This just means that you need to see a doctor to find out how to do it safety and how to mitigate inhibitors to your success.